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Thwip (Sponsored by Bud Light)

This party was strange. Strange because of its existence. Strange because it was the only window within the range of your entire life that actually existed to begin with. It wasn’t that you didn’t remember events before this party, or that you didn’t have dreams or obligations that sat comfortably within the future from now; it was that you were never really there to witness those memories, and something in you told you you wouldn’t be around to fulfill those dreams or obligations.

Stranger than all this was that no one in this party seemed to notice this, or at least act as if it was true. Well, to be fair, you weren’t acting as if it was true either. How could you act? The memory of being in the car with your mom as she looked over and smiled at you, pulling up into the crowded driveway burned in your mind as if you lived it. “It’s been while since I last went swimming,” she said. “Hopefully I can stay on top of the water and not sink to the bottom.” She giggled at the thought. But this moment between the two of you in the car never really happened. Nothing happened. Nothing was there to happen. Nothing before now.

You remember changing into your swim trunks in the bathroom with her. You remember seeing her bare ass, and not thinking much of it in either direction, her being your mom and all. You just remember how big and unbound it was. How supernatural and unlikely. Possible theoretically, yet just so improbable.

Existence, actual existence, not just memory, came with the sliding open of the screen door and all eyes focusing on your mom. Heads turning shamelessly and glaring in a way you’ve never seen before. One man turning to look as he walked and comically falling into the pool, splashing thunderously without anyone turning to see what happened. The man at the grill standing there, gobsmacked with your mother’s being, as the hot dogs on the grill caught flame poetically. A middle-aged balding man with a camera hastily throwing his fat wife out in front of him and taking a picture with an anachronistic Polaroid camera just perfectly so your mom’s passing ass could be caught in the developing shot (which developed in mere seconds). An overweight ginger wearing goggles splashing at the water in front of his dad. “Daddy! Daddy!” he yelled as he almost drowned, his father dropping him absent-mindedly just so he could get a clean look at your unobstructed mother, who now seemed to literally to be moving in slow motion. The ginger swam to the pool’s edge, and after catching it, looked up to see your mom’s perfect ass passing, eclipsing him and his wondrous gawk.

Your mom, unphased by the glares around her, approached the diving board and walked to its end as if it were her own personal runway, and after grabbing her hip, as if to pose, she dived into the pool. The arc of her dive brought her passed a party-goer under the water in a scuba suit, bubbles exited his face mask violently as his eyes went wide. And then she swung back up into the world of the dry and drying.

When she hit the surface, she grabbed onto the pool’s edge and smiled with satisfaction. Two guys stood there, looking down at her, jaws agape.

You stood there watching, fascinated by the unnatural mis-en-scene of life, which seemed to jump from exactly nowhere, violently ripping you from a normalcy that you remembered existing in, though you knew that existence was the wrong word.

Suddenly, a cool, careless voice, which carried a bit of a rasp, broke in, as if coming from the sky: “Feeling thirsty?”

You looked up at the two men, presumably the target of the narrator’s question.

Your mom’s ass came up from out the water, floating on its own buoyancy. And miraculously, genuinely so to you, but the expression on everyone else there was in the spirit of comedic overacting, atop your mom’s round balloon of an ass sat a blue bud light, just waiting for them. Your mom reached behind herself and grabbed it, handing it up to the shocked man above.

The narrator obtruded through this fourth wall yet again, answering his own rhetorical. “Have a Bud Light.”

As one of the guys cracked it open and began to drink it, you could feel yourself start to get faint. Suddenly, just as the man finished his sip with a satisfying “ahhhh,” all went black.

It stayed like that for an indeterminable amount of time. The thing with non-existence is that it can’t be measured in seconds or minutes or beats. You just weren’t, and then you were again. Were again with the *thwip* of the sliding door opening, and there it all was again. The same scene, with the same people, with the same stupid looks on their faces and all the same stupid actions.

You looked down at your hands and looked around. As you walked off to the side, quite unlike last time, it became apparent to you: you were the only one who noticed it. You knew this for sure this time. All the same things happened again on cue. The man falling in the pool. The man burning the food. The neglectful father. The ginger and the scuba diver. And your mom, marching in lockstep for all of them. Or for something else. Something bigger you couldn’t put your finger on.

The only thing that changed was the polaroid. As it developed, your mom developed within it, but only partially. As you stood in the foreground this time, blocking the shot of her ass.

“Hey!” you heard from behind you. You span around, startled. His gaze was on you, furious and unnatural, like an actor in a bit part. “Get out of the way!” he screamed, as if defending himself in court.

Suddenly, the voice boomed in: “Feeling thirsty?”

And just as suddenly, a blue bud light fell from the sky into the aggrieved man’s outraged hands.

He looked up baffled, and then after looking around for a few seconds, the voice continued: “Have a Bud Light.”

The man, without thinking about it, cracked it open and took a sip. And with a satisfying “ahhhh” all of existence disappeared.


The sunlight assaulted you yet again, and when your eyes adjusted, they adjusted to the site of your mom’s ass in motion and the eyes of all who wanted to see it, as if seeing it for the first time, while also actually seeing it for the first time, impossible as that was. The same motions happened as last time, but this time you made sure to let the man take his picture before proceeding forward.

As your mom dived into the pool, arcing in slow-motion beneath the blue water, you cut her off at the exact point where she came back up, getting in front of the two men who were fated to be standing there as she came up for air. This time it was you looking down at your own mom as she reemerged. As she came back up, a startled look of confusion met her face. And as it startled you as well, your mouth started to go dry.

You both stared at each other, not knowing what to do, thought likely for completely different reasons. Your inaction was interrupted by a voice: “Feeling thirsty?”

You stepped back, startled, realizing you were now on the spot. Your mom’s bewildered look, suddenly and unnaturally, curled into a confident smile. She reached down below the water’s blue surface and pulled up with her a blue bud light and tossed it to you.

“Have a Bud Light,” the voice said on cue. And everything stopped. Everything and everyone. And you just stood there as they all watched. The sweat started to build on your forehead. Your mom just smiled up at you with the others. Not moving. No one moved, though seconds had passed, possibly even a minute. And realizing you couldn’t take it anymore, you cracked open the can and took a sip.

You shut your eyes, expecting life itself, and everything within it, to be ripped from you, and to reappear back at the sliding door. But nothing happened. All eyes were still on you, frozen. And then it hit you what you had to do. “Ahhhh.”


As your mom, now completely dry again, walked on in front of you, you thought about her ass, and the can of bud light sitting on top of it during the first go, wanting to see it happen again. Feeling nostalgic for it, whether it had been minutes or decades since the last time you saw it, you didn’t know. So you just stood there and watched, not obstructing anything. Letting it all happen as it did before. The camera, the hot dog wiener, the water wings and the scuba gear. And the two gawking faces. Her ass came up over that water with the blue Bud Light sitting on it, only after the promp from the narrator: “Feeling thirsty?”

And just after the second verbal promp from the narrator (“Have a Bud Light”) and the guy taking his sip, you heard from behind you in a hushed whisper: “That’s it!”

You turned around to see who it was.


Your mom’s ass gleamed in the sun. And before it could get anywhere, you grabbed onto her bikini bottoms and tugged them downward. Her big, bare, white woman ass came into view. You heard a polaroid camera go off, meat sizzling, a splash in the pool, the sound of gurgling as a child fell below the water, and the sound of water being blown through a snorkel as someone peaked their eyes above sea level. You heard all of this as you knelt face to face with your mom’s bare ass.

Your mom pushed you off frantically. And after you let go, and she made herself decent before looking around at everyone who had seen it, the narrator broke in “feeling thirsty?”

Her mouth was dry with embarrassment. You heard hushed whispering that sounded like “Holy shit!”, a phrase which you didn’t expect to hear. As you turned around to try to find who said it, you heard “Have a bud light,” from above and then your mom saying “Ahhh.”


“Who said that!” was the first thing you said as your mom walked on. You said it as if you demanded an answer. “Who said ‘holy shit?’ I heard it!”

There was no answer. Just gawking faces. “I know you can hear me!” you yelled. “There are two of you. Or more. I heard you talking to someone.”

No answer came. Instead everything played out as normal, being capped off with the neutral voice of the narrator and “ahhh”


Your mom walked ahead, all eyes on her. You walked behind and heard a camera flash. After a few seconds you heard the cameraman say “Hey!,” but you ignored it. You went up to the ginger hugging tightly to the side of the pool, looking up at your mom as she approached the diving board. You then stuck your foot on his head and pushed him downward.

He must’ve landed on the scuba diver, as you could feel somebody pushing him back up. So you only applied more pressure. At the same time, your mom had jumped into the pool. Suddenly, the scuba’s snorkel floated to the surface and you could feel the two of them stop struggling beneath you.

Your mom came up on the other side of the pool and looked over at you, horrified, her gaze backed up by the two men originally standing there to intercept her. They all looked at you, shocked.


Prison bars shut inches from your face.

You stood in a cell as your mom walked away, crying, her ass, now cupped in jeans the way her face was cupped in her hands, being watched by the officers guarding you as she left.

The warden came in with your last meal. Without you even touching any of it, though you remembered it as if you had, the meal was done and the only thing left for you before you would be executed was a lone can of blue Bud Light, still cold and sweating.

Your mouth was dry.

“Feeling thirsty?” that old familiar voice asked.

You cracked open the can and stared at it as it fizzled.

“Have a Bud Light.”

You took a sip. “ahhhhh”


Your mom’s ass came alive again in the sun. This time you ran over and tipped the grill. Nothing changed.



For this round, you decided to save the man from falling in the pool. He shook his head, ashamed of what he almost did. And to wash away the embarrassment had a drink of bud light, which your mom pulled out impossibly from behind her back.




You followed your mom along the side of the pool and just as she went to jump off the diving board, you grabbed her bikini bottoms, causing them to snap as she fell forward.

She belly flopped into the water below as the scuba diver took a bubbly gasp at her bare ass, which comically absorbed the shock of her impact with a ripple. A ripple which happened in slow motion. The look of shock in her face was half as priceless. She came up at the pool’s edge and the two men looked down at her.

“Feeling thirsty?”

Her ass floated up to the surface with a blue bud light resting on it.

One of the guy reached over her befuddle head, took the drink and gave her nude ass a slap.

“Fucking awesome!” you heard in hushed whispers from behind you. You spun around to try to catch who it was. But before you could:

“Have a Bud Light,” you heard from up above.




You followed your mom for a few steps before turning around to face the crowd. “Who are you?” you pleaded. “Please tell me! I know I’m not alone in here. Who are you!? please!”





You walked out a few steps, then turned around suddenly, and approached the sea of gawking faces. None of them paid you any mind, all looking passed you at your mother.





You looked again desperately, knowing you had but a few seconds, even with the stretch of time your mom walked in slow-motion. Nothing.





Again. Nothing.





You did it again. But this time, in your haste and frustration, you tripped. As you got up, surrounded by a forest of swimming trunks and muscular legs. You turned over, just as the “Ahhh” cued, and something hit your face. Something fleshy and hard.


You turned directly into the crowd and look down at their waists and that’s when you saw it. Because amongst a sea of supposedly horny men, so horny they lost all ability to be respectful enough to not stare, not one of these so-called horny men had what you’d expect them to have. Namely, an erection in their trunks or comically placed speedos. None of them had it. None of them except for two.

And as you examined them close up, you saw beads of sweat fall from their heads, even as they smiled obliviously and stared at your mom. You could see one of pair of eyes subtly turning over within their still socket to look at you, while the head they sat in stood still, staring ahead. You knew that look. It was fear.



You turned around and went back into the house and into the host’s guest room, where everyone had piled their clothes. You searched through one set of men’s jeans for a wallet with some I.D. You heard the muffled voice of the narrator from outside.


You were back under the heat of the sun. You turned around again, determined to search faster. You found a piece of I.D. this time. It was the camera guy. You heard the muffled voice. Better luck next time.


You did it again, this time finding the dad of the ginger.


Again, this time finding the guy standing up when your mom comes up at the pool side.










And as you look through a pair of pants this time, you feel a rattle.


You go straight for that pair, fascinated by what you might find. You pull it out and see a bottle full of pills. You open it up.

It’s blue velvet.


This time, you go straight for the ice box sitting by the grill, and inside it, you see nothing but blue Bud Lights staring up at you.

As your mom dives into the water, you turn around and address your two suspects. “I have a deal to make with yo-“



You approach them immediately. “I have a deal to make with you. I know you can hear me.” They look on at your mom wide-eyed, as if on script, but the beads of human seat tumbling gracefully from their foreheads paint an opposing picture.


“I found your secret.”

No response.

“Your little blue secret.”


“A whole bottle full of them.”

One of them betrayed the other by turning to look over at you, startling you in the process. He couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“I’m the only one that can do it,” you say desperately. “I want to help.”

Now they’re both looking at you.



“So!” you yell so they can hear you from where you’re now standing, “distract her. Don’t let anyone drink a Bud Light. And if they do, keep them from saying ah-” you caught yourself. “You know what.”

As you walk back into the house, one of them goes for the ice box, the other follows your mom, and when the camera snaps, he hears “Hey!” from behind him. He turns around to see the angry camera man, pushing his fat wife out of the way. “You ruined my shot!”

The narrator chimes in: “Feeling thirsty?”

He runs at the camera man while looking up in the sky, and just as the blue can of Bud Light falls, he swats it away, causing it to land in the pool.

At the same time you come back out with two pills of blue, just in time to see him leap into the water to keep the Bud Light out of the hands of the scuba diver. Just as he does, your mom dives into the water.

You run forward, and suddenly feel the ground disappear from under you. You trip over the fat leg of the camera man’s wife, and as you hit the ground, you watch the blue pills in your hand roll forward. They roll and roll, while you stare helplessly, until they roll themselves off of dry land and into the blue water before you. This should have been no big deal. But something in you told you that this was your last chance. Your eyes started to well up.

The other guy ran in front of the two by the pool side just as your mom appeared and grabbed onto the side. He looked down at her, sweating. And she, up at him, not knowing what to say.

Suddenly, her buoyant ass, unsinkable, floated to the surface. And on top of it, as familiar as ever, was the blue Bud Light can. But this time it was different. Different, because it was open.

His partner rose up suddenly from behind her, gasping for breath. He caught your eyes as he struggled for sweet air. Then catching you, he turned over to look at his friend. His right hand came out of the water with a thumbs up.

“Feeling thirsty?” his friend asked your mom in a cool, neutral voice.

He reached over her and grabbed the blue Bud Light from her ass and handed it to her. “Have some Bud Light.”

She just looked up at him.

Then she smiled confidently, as if on cue.

And then, majestically, as if being filmed, she tipped the can back and began drinking. And she didn’t finish until the can was empty. And after she swallowed her last bit, he put his hand over her mouth, not allowing any solitary sound of satisfaction to escape it.

And as she started to go weak, she fell back down into the water below. And coming back behind her was his partner, who swam up to the surface with her in his arms.

And as the three of you went back into the shade of the house, everyone at the party cheered. The camera man. The ginger. His dad. The man at the grill. The two at the edge of the pool. Even the man who fell in the pool and the scuba guy came up to signal their approval.

As you got inside, they reintroduced themselves to your mom’s bare ass, a gift which you had given them an indeterminable amount of time ago, by ripping off her bikini bottoms.

Now they had a new gift. And something inside you told you that they had it uninterrupted.

And as you watched them take the mother you remembered everything about, but never truly lived with until now, or the many nows you’ve now been through, your jerked off. The ass which you were so familiar with, not just because you had a mind full of memories with it in your life, but even if none of those memories were real, there was a second familiarity you built with it through these endless repeating cycles. Even in your moments with it in the bathroom as she changed, it being only inches from you, you saw nothing sexual in it. But the second real-time conscious awareness came to you was the second when you had a need to see it be fucked. As if being conscious and being conscious of just what power watching your mom being fucked could mean were the same thing.

The memories leading up to this moment were like a dream, or the flimsy backstory within a movie that justified current events; the moments told or revealed in passing. Or the things only the actor or writer knew, to give their characters motivation. All that mattered now was this. Your mom’s two big butt cheeks and the hard cocks that got to enjoy them.

One guy nutted on your mom’s face.

The second pulled out just as you were cumming, and he jerked himself off and nutted on her ass at the highest point of your climax. And just as you finished and you sat there, finally satisfied, he, with almost as much satisfaction, let out a “ahhhhhh”

*knock knock knock*

Your bedroom door shot open. Your dad stood there, looking down at you as you lay in your bed.

“We’re leaving in an hour, think you can be ready by then?”

“Yeah,” you said, wanting him to leave your room as soon as possible. He smiled and closed the door. Your TV was still on, you fell asleep watching it the night before. There was a commercial on. A commercial for Bud Light. The one with the brunette milf with the huge tits. The one where she comes up over the water with a blue Bud Light resting between them. You loved that commercial.

You lifted up your sheets to look at your boxers. They were sticky with cum. This was the first wet dream you had had in years. You don’t even remember the last time you had one. You heard that you get them when you haven’t jerked off for a while. That must be true. You haven’t jerked off for weeks in preparation for today. Luckily, whatever that wet dream was about (you couldn’t really remember it), it didn’t get in the way of your excitement for today.

*knock knock knock*

You dropped your sheets quickly just as your mom opened up the door.

“Hey sweety,” she said, smiling at you from underneath her blonde hair and above her Beatles T-shirt and white underwear. “You going to be ready in an hour?”

“Yeah,” you said, awkwardly.

Your mom just smiled. “It’s been a long time since I last went skiing. Hopefully I can stay on top of the snow and not sink to the bottom.”

She turned around, and you watched as her pantie-clad ass, as fat as it was impossible, disappear around the corner.

You were ready. Everything had been packed last night. Everything except for one. You leaned over and opened your drawer. Inside was a bottle. You rattled it, and then opened it up and stared down at the little blue pills staring back at you.

You thought of those two douchebags Peter and Charles, the sons of your dad’s boss. The boss whose winter cabin you were visiting for the weekend. And as you packed the pills into your bag, you knew they were thinking about you. Hoping you’d bring them. Hoping you wouldn’t chicken out. Last night you had your doubts. But for some reason, this morning, you were as ready and brave as ever.

The car had already been mostly packed by the time you got changed and ready and came out into the living room. “Can you just carry this to the car,” your mom said and pointed down at the last thing before turning off with a propane tank and walking out, her entire body and all the magic it contained eclipsed by her ski pants.

You knelt down and lifted up the 24 case of Bud Light before closing the door behind you and heading to the car.

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